Treasure of the Holy Grail

Act One: The Year is 5,000 BC

The Scythians are a bloodthirsty, slave-trading, warrior tribe and males and females use bows and arrows from birth with great accuracy. They travel in hemp-covered wagons, are fantastically tattooed all over from a young age, and wear golden armor. This is the tribe that invented the wheel, domesticated the horse, and forged the Silk Road from Europe to China.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-1-06-56-pmTheir coming-of-age ritual is to kill an enemy in battle and drink his hot blood from his skull cap. Not so difficult when you understand the enemy is on foot and carries a battle ax, while the Scythian rides a horse and shoots with a recumbent bow, the tommy gun of the steppes.

The skull cap is lined with gold and used for future ceremonies. The Scythians love sweat lodges fumigated with cannabis flowers.

They blind slaves they keep and ship their offspring to live with other clans. Children are raised in groups and do not know their parents, but treat all adult as parents. Any one can make love with anyone else, and a bow and quiver on the door of a wagon signifies copulation in progress.

One day, a young gay Scythian, who does not participate in battle, abhors the slave trade, and investigates magical plants, discovers cannabis flower mixed with hot milk has a much greater effect than inhaling cannabis fumes in a sweat lodge. He shares this concoction with his blind father and his sight miraculously returns. The golden cups are soon filled with cannabis and milk and not blood, thanks to revelations achieved through this new sacrament. The slaves are freed and their sight returned.

Act Two: The Year is 5,000 AD

The secrets of the young gay Scythian have long been lost, and the kingdom has been in perpetual war ever since. Young King Arthur assembles 12 and commands them to find the secret that will bring peace to the kingdom, which according to legend is a golden grail held captive in a blackened forest.

littlegrailThe black forest is surrounded by a vast oil-drenched wasteland and guarded by a custodian called the Fisher King, who suffers from poisonous fumes emanating from the wasteland. One of Arthur’s young knights manages to cross the wasteland alive without succumbing to its effects and gains entrance to the mysterious estate and soon discovers a princess brings a golden cup to the King in order to keep him alive. He discovers it is not really the cup that is important, but the medicine that goes inside.

The knight returns to Camelot and the sacrament quickly brings peace to the kingdom, while inspiring great creativity and frivolity.

True Origins of the Holy Grail

screen-shot-2016-09-27-at-9-15-18-amStrange the Holy Grail remains our central myth, yet few pay attention to its origins. Probably because those origins are steeped in cannabis. Herodotus, the father of western history, first documented the three sacred golden gifts (plow/yoke, axe and cup) bequeathed to Greece’s ancient northern neighbors, the Saka, who had divided into a caste system based around those three gifts. Herodotus also documented the culture’s great affection for cannabis sweat lodges. By his time, they had already built the (poorly-named) Silk Road. (In truth, it was cannabis that built their highway; silk came along later in the game.) Another myth is the Saka conquered cultures with brunt force, when in reality, despite their superior weapons and highly militarized society, their culture was so incredibly advanced it was readily absorbed into the many cultures they traded with. And because they traveled from Europe to China and India, the Saka absorbed elements from both east and west. Saka priests (many of whom were transsexual) had best magic because their primary sacrament was the greatest medicine on earth.

A few hundred years after Herodotus, Quintus Curtius Rufus documented those same three sacred gifts as essential to the Zoroastrians, although the weapon had morphed into a spear and arrow. In later Nart versions, it became a golden sword. However, throughout history, the golden cup retained its importance in Zoroastrian and Gnostic traditions, and this cup was a symbol of spirituality long before the arrival of the cross. Interestingly, the grail appears on Templar tombstones as well, indicating the powerful secret society had an early association with the grail. In fact, issues with the Templars may have originated with their defense of the Cathars, and there is speculation that two of the original nine Templar knights were Cathars. It’s worth noting that the Cathar grail was called “Mani,” leading me be believe the Persian prophet Mani, who lived around the year 200, was the source of their dualistic beliefs. Mani attempted to unify all known religions and his followers built temples throughout the Silk Road, all of which were destroyed or absorbed by other religions.

Screen Shot 2016-01-03 at 12.12.42 PMUnfortunately, the version of the grail told today has been completely sanitized from any association with cannabis, when in fact, it’s the substance in the grail that carries the magic, and not the metal itself. I find it interesting Southern France became a center for mysticism, launching many occult societies, and the greatly persecuted Cathars were undoubtedly the inspiration behind much of that.

Meanwhile, the growth of Islam displaced the Zoroastrians, but the haoma cup was easily morphed into Islam’s Cup of Jamshid, said to contain the elixir of immortality. In early European mythology the grail contains the key to bringing peace to the kingdom. In reality, both claims are true: cannabis is the key to long-life, and it has a soothing effect that helps tamp down rage and violence.