The Tin Whistle

counterculture history and conspiracy theory

Treasure of the Holy Grail

with 2 comments

Act One: The Year is 5,000 BC

The Scythians are a bloodthirsty, slave-trading, warrior tribe and males and females use bows and arrows from birth with great accuracy. They travel in hemp-covered wagons, are fantastically tattooed all over from a young age, and wear golden armor. This is the tribe that invented the wheel, domesticated the horse, and forged the Silk Road from Europe to China.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-1-06-56-pmTheir coming-of-age ritual is to kill an enemy in battle and drink his hot blood from his skull cap. Not so difficult when you understand the enemy is on foot and carries a battle ax, while the Scythian rides a horse and shoots with a recumbent bow, the tommy gun of the steppes.

The skull cap is lined with gold and used for future ceremonies. The Scythians love sweat lodges fumigated with cannabis flowers.

They blind slaves they keep and ship their offspring to live with other clans. Children are raised in groups and do not know their parents, but treat all adult as parents. Any one can make love with anyone else, and a bow and quiver on the door of a wagon signifies copulation in progress.

One day, a young gay Scythian, who does not participate in battle, abhors the slave trade, and investigates magical plants, discovers cannabis flower mixed with hot milk has a much greater effect than inhaling cannabis fumes in a sweat lodge. He shares this concoction with his blind father and his sight miraculously returns. The golden cups are soon filled with cannabis and milk and not blood, thanks to revelations achieved through this new sacrament. The slaves are freed and their sight returned.

Act Two: The Year is 5,000 AD

The secrets of the young gay Scythian have long been lost, and the kingdom has been in perpetual war ever since. Young King Arthur assembles 12 and commands them to find the secret that will bring peace to the kingdom, which according to legend is a golden grail held captive in a blackened forest.

littlegrailThe black forest is surrounded by a vast oil-drenched wasteland and guarded by a custodian called the Fisher King, who suffers from poisonous fumes emanating from the wasteland. One of Arthur’s young knights manages to cross the wasteland alive without succumbing to its effects and gains entrance to the mysterious estate and soon discovers a princess brings a golden cup to the King in order to keep him alive. He discovers it is not really the cup that is important, but the medicine that goes inside.

The knight returns to Camelot and the sacrament quickly brings peace to the kingdom, while inspiring great creativity and frivolity.

Written by Steven Hager

January 11, 2017 at 2:23 pm

2 Responses

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  1. The myth of the Holy Grail begins in the folklore of England with Joseph of Aremethia. In the Gospel, this figure brought spices to the tomb of the Anointed. Later, in the tradition of the Church of Alexandria, these spices were used to form a holy oil that was used for the first time at Pentecost. In the tradition of the religion of the anointed Ones, a full body anointing with this Grail is used as an initiatory termed, “baptism of the Holy Spirit and with fire.” This ceremonial use induces a spiritual experience with the powerful alkaloids Myrrh and Hashish that includes two forms of Cinnamons. The practice of this new religion was brought to England by Joseph of Aremthia a Tin Merchant. The use of this Grail is now lost to mankind. But, the return of the True Christian Religion will enter in a New Church era for the Coming prophetic fulfilled age of worldwide peace.

    • Actually, the roots of the story pre-date Christianity and the Joseph of Aremethia is just a made-up story similar to the Holy Blood, Holy Grail mythology. The Lady of the Lake is not a Christian figure, but a Scythian one, which is why the story starts in ancient Scythia, as I have indicated. This is the true origins of the grail.

      Steven Hager

      January 11, 2017 at 3:44 pm


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