The Tin Whistle

counterculture history and conspiracy theory

The True Story of Santa Claus

with 6 comments

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 1.30.40 PMHere’s what a quarter looked like in ancient Persia. According to Wikipedia, this is Yahweh, seated on a wheel with wings, holding what appears to be a bird. Yahweh started out leading a pantheon as in Vedic, Nordic and Roman mythologies. Around 800 BC he becomes the only god, and you are not allowed to make representations of him or even say his name. Yahweh becomes Santa Claus. The bird is the elves and the flying wheel is the magic sleigh.

Maybe you fell for the hoodwink Santa was a mushroom. I know I did for years. It took me decades to figure out R. Gordon Wasson was a spook seeding disinfo. Same thing for the theory Jesus was a mushroom. Yes, Siberians used mushrooms during the ceremonies (and so did some Templars). But Siberian shamans don’t worship reindeer and don’t travel in sleighs. Others try to assert Santa was invented by Madison Avenue, when, in fact Santa emerged all over Europe during the Middle Ages.

Since Santa was built on top of the Saka ceremonies, he is really a father god, like Odin/Zeus/Jupiter. Sakas wore red outfits just like Santa. Santa’s hat is a phygerian with a puff ball, just like the Saka hat. Sakas worshiped a golden deer with antlers. In the beginning, the Saka god rode a magic horse with eight legs. His ravens morph into Zwarte Piet in the Netherlands and magic elves in England. The primary intoxicate of the Saka for millennia was cannabis. No mushrooms nor mushroom iconography can be found in the kurgans, although cannabis abounds in the form of hemp clothing, hemp flowers and hemp seeds. Not to mention the elaborate golden chalices used for ceremonies have been found to contain residues of cannabis and opium. So where do you think Santa really came from? A mushroom? Or our Saka ancestors? If anything the Sakas influenced the Siberians, not the other way around.

godsSince Yahweh was inspired by cannabis users, one wonders how and why cannabis disappeared from world history, and why such an elaborate hoodwink was created to misdirect toward mushrooms. Because the Saka who started this didn’t have a written language, they left no explanation for the evolution of Yahweh into Santa Claus. In fact, the only thing they did leave us were their kurgan tombs, most of which were easily located and plundered because as soon as people in Russia realized the tombs were filled with golden objects, most kurgans got raided and all the priceless gold artifacts were melted down, a tremendous tragedy because of the quality of the craftsmanship, and also because the golden cups (chalices) were employed to drink cannabis and hot milk (with a tad of opium and/or ephedra if available).

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 5.55.06 AMIn 1716 Peter the Great was given sixty gold artifacts from a recently uncovered kurgan and issued an edict that he would pay far more money for any Saka gold artifacts left intact and not melted down. The most common artifact in the tombs were golden deer with elaborate antlers, leading me to believe the deer was an important source of food, even though the Saka had horses (which they ate), sheep, goats, oxen and hornless cattle. The two world wars ended kurgan exploration for a time but in the late 1940s, large-scale excavations took place around the Black Sea, and in the 1950s, kurgans were uncovered as far north as Siberia. But the first exhibition of Saka artifacts wasn’t held until 1975.

In 2002, Time-Warner published Jeannine Davis-Kimball’s Warrior Women, which detailed many females found in kurgans, most of whom were buried with armor and weapons because the Saka women were the source of the Greek Amazon myth. Strangely, you won’t find a single reference to cannabis in her book. Instead, the author makes only one reference to a nameless hallucinogen, which she claims was either smoked or consumed orally. Now ask yourself why the most important Saka sacrament can’t even get a proper ID. Why is our mainstream culture so resistant to giving cannabis its proper place in world history? I’d like to ask Davis-Kimball why she chose to leave the words “cannabis” and “hemp” out of her book entirely, and whether that was something encouraged by the editors at Time-Warner.

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 12.49.19 PMWhile it’s true Coca-Cola and Madison Avenue crafted the modern image of Santa, their version is not that far from Santas found all over Europe in the Middle Ages. Here is the ancient Dutch version, where Santa’s Saka-style hat has morphed into a Mitre like those worn by Popes and Bishops, all in an attempt to Christianize the holiday cerebrating the benevolent father god of our ancient ancestors.

Written by Steven Hager

November 12, 2015 at 6:06 am

6 Responses

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  1. I understand that hemp and cannabis are not the same plant, although related. Hemp is lower in THC and has been used for practical purposes including as a quick and hearty soil fertility amendment before a crop is planted, whereas cannabis has higher THC and offers medicinal properties.


    November 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    • They are the same plant, and in a few generations you can breed the plant either for fiber or for medicine. The hemp plants would grow tightly-packed along river valleys, while the medicine plant would grow above the tree line and spaced out. Same plant, same genetics, but put it in a different environment and it comes out looking way different.

      Steven Hager

      November 12, 2015 at 4:23 pm

      • According to Dan Sutton of Tantulus Labs, a Canadian company that specializes in cannabis cultivation technology, “the core agricultural differences between medical cannabis and hemp are largely in their genetic parentage and cultivation environment.”

        We are saying the same thing. On the same page.


        November 13, 2015 at 12:17 pm

        • Suggesting that cannabis was “bred with another” unnamed plant (flax? linen?) to produce hemp as a distinctly different plant is absurd. The same genetics that express sativa at sea elevation, will express as indica at treeline within a few generations if not immediately. And when you say “cultivation environment,” that’s mostly a result of planting close together to achieve tall spindly plants with a long central fiber core, or planting far apart and pruning to produce plants as wide as they are tall and full of flowers. The plant produces oil to protect itself from sun burn, so the more sun, the more oil.

          Steven Hager

          November 13, 2015 at 12:33 pm

          • There was absolutely NO suggestion about it being bred with another unnamed plant. Re-read.


            November 14, 2015 at 10:05 am

  2. I was following links in the article, don’t remember which one, but I came to a paragraph somewhere about hemp being created by cross-breeding cannabis with a separate fiber species.

    Steven Hager

    November 14, 2015 at 10:28 am

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