The True Story of Santa Claus

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 1.30.40 PMHere’s what a quarter looked like in ancient Persia. According to Wikipedia, this is Yahweh, seated on a wheel with wings, holding what appears to be a bird. Yahweh started out leading a pantheon as in Vedic, Nordic and Roman mythologies. Around 800 BC he becomes the only god, and you are not allowed to make representations of him or even say his name. Yahweh becomes Santa Claus. The bird is the elves and the flying wheel is the magic sleigh.

Maybe you fell for the hoodwink Santa was a mushroom. I know I did for years. It took me decades to figure out R. Gordon Wasson was a spook seeding disinfo. Same thing for the theory Jesus was a mushroom. Yes, Siberians used mushrooms during the ceremonies (and so did some Templars). But Siberian shamans don’t worship reindeer and don’t travel in sleighs. Others try to assert Santa was invented by Madison Avenue, when, in fact Santa emerged all over Europe during the Middle Ages.

Since Santa was built on top of Scythian ceremonies, he’s really an evolution of the father god, as in Odin/Zeus/Jupiter. But the Zoroastrians dispensed with the pantheon, claiming one great spirit ran the entire universe, and that person was soon dubbed Yahweh. Both the Zoroastrians and the Buddhists evolved from Scythian culture. Scythians wore red outfits like Santa. Santa’s hat is a phygerian with a puff ball, like the Scythian hat. Scythians worshiped a golden deer with antlers. In the beginning, the Scythian god rode a magic horse with eight legs. His ravens morph into Zwarte Piet in the Netherlands and magic elves in England. The primary intoxicant of the Scythians for millennia was cannabis. No mushrooms nor mushroom iconography can be found in their kurgans, although cannabis abounds in the form of hemp clothing, hemp flowers and hemp seeds, and often a couple of cannabis kolas crossed on top of the corpse’s chest. Not to mention the elaborate golden Scythian chalices have been found to contain residues of cannabis and opium. So where do you think Santa really came from? A mushroom? Or our Scythian ancestors? It’s worth noting that like the Native Americans, the Scythians believed their ancestors emerged from the north.

godsSince Yahweh was inspired by cannabis users, one wonders how and why cannabis disappeared from world history, and why such an elaborate hoodwink was created to misdirect toward mushrooms. Because the Scythians who started this didn’t have a written language beyond runes, they left no explanation for the evolution of Yahweh into Santa Claus. In fact, the only thing they did leave us were the kurgan tombs, most of which were easily located and plundered because as soon as people in Russia realized the tombs were filled with golden objects, most kurgans got raided and all the priceless gold artifacts were melted down, a tremendous tragedy because of the quality of the craftsmanship, and also because the golden cups (chalices) were employed to drink cannabis and hot milk (with a tad of opium and/or ephedra if available).

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 5.55.06 AMIn 1716 Peter the Great was given sixty gold artifacts from a recently uncovered kurgan and issued an edict that he would pay far more money for any Scythian gold artifacts left intact and not melted down. The most common artifact in the tombs were golden deer with elaborate antlers, leading me to believe the deer was an important source of food, even though the Scythians had horses (which they ate), sheep, goats, oxen and hornless cattle. The two world wars ended kurgan exploration for a time but in the late 1940s, large-scale excavations took place around the Black Sea, and in the 1950s, kurgans were uncovered as far north as Siberia. But the first exhibition of Saka artifacts wasn’t held until 1975.

In 2002, Time-Warner published Jeannine Davis-Kimball’s Warrior Women, which detailed many females found in kurgans, most of whom were buried with armor and weapons because the Scythian women were the source of the Greek Amazon myth. Strangely, you won’t find a single reference to cannabis in her book. Instead, the author makes only one reference to a nameless hallucinogen, which she claims was either smoked or consumed orally. Now ask yourself why the most important sacrament can’t even get a proper ID. Why is our mainstream culture so resistant to giving cannabis its proper place in world history? I’d like to ask Davis-Kimball why she chose to leave the words “cannabis” and “hemp” out of her book entirely, and whether that was something encouraged by the editors at Time-Warner.

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 12.49.19 PMWhile it’s true Coca-Cola and Madison Avenue crafted the modern image of Santa, their version is not that far from Santas found all over Europe in the Middle Ages. Here’s the ancient Dutch version, where Santa’s Scythian-style hat has morphed into a Mitre like those worn by Popes and Bishops, all in an attempt to Christianize the holiday cerebrating the benevolent father god of our ancient ancestors. And, of course, the clincher in this debate is the fact that Santa emerged in Europe with a partner named Krampus, who was part demon, and part goat-man, and who carried a birch switch for punishing the wicked. Krampus was obviously the devil, but nothing like our current incarnation, for his job was punishing the evil ones, not creating them. It was a good-god, bad-god routine, with Krampus scaring kids into being good while the Santa provided the warm embrace of the universal father figure.

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Author: Steven Hager

I'm a writer, journalist, filmmaker and event producer.

6 thoughts on “The True Story of Santa Claus”

  1. I understand that hemp and cannabis are not the same plant, although related. Hemp is lower in THC and has been used for practical purposes including as a quick and hearty soil fertility amendment before a crop is planted, whereas cannabis has higher THC and offers medicinal properties.

    1. They are the same plant, and in a few generations you can breed the plant either for fiber or for medicine. The hemp plants would grow tightly-packed along river valleys, while the medicine plant would grow above the tree line and spaced out. Same plant, same genetics, but put it in a different environment and it comes out looking way different.

        1. Suggesting that cannabis was “bred with another” unnamed plant (flax? linen?) to produce hemp as a distinctly different plant is absurd. The same genetics that express sativa at sea elevation, will express as indica at treeline within a few generations if not immediately. And when you say “cultivation environment,” that’s mostly a result of planting close together to achieve tall spindly plants with a long central fiber core, or planting far apart and pruning to produce plants as wide as they are tall and full of flowers. The plant produces oil to protect itself from sun burn, so the more sun, the more oil.

  2. I was following links in the article, don’t remember which one, but I came to a paragraph somewhere about hemp being created by cross-breeding cannabis with a separate fiber species.

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