The Tin Whistle

counterculture history and conspiracy theory

Pythagoras was a stoner

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Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 2.18.19 PMNo person looms larger in the evolution of science, magic and religion than Pythagoras, who transformed the math, music and philosophy of his day, yet not a single document from his own hand exists, and his legacy is clouded by disinfo while people like Plato, Euclid and Copernicus get credit for most of his breakthroughs in philosophy and science.

Pythagoras is known today only for a theorem that carries his name, i.e.: the square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides. This equation formed the foundation for mathematics and none of the great cathedrals of Europe could have been built without it. In a similar way, the Gregorian Chants are based on Pythagorean equations. And yet, few know anything about the man, and most of what people know, is probably disinfo.

Born in a Greek colony, Pythagoras was a hybrid offspring, which likely contributed to his ability to move through many cultures of his time with such ease. He spent decades studying in Egypt, Persia and Greece, and became the finest orator, philosopher, magician and astrologer of his day. He was trained in the Zorastrian tradition by Zoroaster, the greatest Persian magician and someone who employed drinking milk mixed with cannabis as his primary ritual.

Toward the end of his life (at age 56), Pythagoras retired to an island off Italy, where he was joined by his most devoted disciples, establishing a monastic secret society devoted to music, meditation and scientific truth. They were vegetarians and would wear neither leather nor wool. Discoveries were shared only with members of the society and it took two years for new initiates to become fully accepted. Pythagoras had joined many such societies through his vast travels, but this was his hybridization of the best elements of them all.

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 2.18.41 PMThe monastery met every morning at sunrise to greet the dawn with song and dance. Apollo held a special place in their hearts because after Herakles stole the treasured tripod of the Oracle of Delphi, it was Apollo who gave chase to make sure the sacred vessel was returned so that the Oracle could resume her prophesying.

The tripod is Saka or Zoroastrian in origin and would have been employed to burn cannabis flowers and other incenses. The Oracle would stand (or even sit) over the tripod while meditating and allow smoke and vapors enter her vagina. Although they employed a different delivery system, this is essentially what Zoroaster (and later Moses) did to achieve their revelations (which explains the “burning bush” reference in the Old Testament).

The Pythagoreans employed many sacred symbols, but especially beloved were the three-legged tripod and the triangular tetrad. Many legends claim the secrets of the tetrad (the harmonic intervals) were discovered only after Pythagoras heard some blacksmiths hammering with different size hammers, but in fact, this revelation was obviously achieved through the study of the seven-stringed lute because the math is only expressed through different string lengths.

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 2.57.03 PMAnd that’s why I know the story of Pythagoras has been all mucked up with fake information. Was Pythagoras murdered or did he die of old age? Did he go bareheaded or wear a turban? And the most important question of all, did he use cannabis? Legend says he sacrificed 100 oxen after discovering his magic triangle theorem, but since he was non-violent and a devoted vegetarian, rest assured that detail was inserted by his enemies, as were many other rabbit holes.

But the legends don’t deny Pythagoras used a tripod in his ceremonies. They just don’t tell you what it’s significance was or how it connects to cannabis intoxication. If Pythagoras was doing it the old-fashioned Saka way, he would have simply placed the tripod with those burning coals and buds inside a small tent or tipi-like structure or even a closet, stepped inside and inhaled the vapors. Or he could have employed a reed or pipe to achieve much the same effect. But I will always believe Pythagoras (and Socrates after him) were devoted stoners.

Written by Steven Hager

November 12, 2015 at 3:49 pm

2 Responses

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  1. I chuckled at your last sentence! Since I know almost nothing of Pythagoras, I found this article quite interesting. I think it’s time for me to read more about him. Any suggestions?


    November 13, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    • You might have to wait for my book The Big Bhang to come out in 2016. There’s not much on Pythagoras, and what there is can’t be trusted. You can read “The Clouds” by Aristophanes, a comedy about Socrates in which the philosopher flies around in the clouds (likely a reference to smoking pot).

      Steven Hager

      November 13, 2015 at 12:37 pm

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