The Tin Whistle

counterculture history and conspiracy theory

Lost Gospel of Judas

leave a comment »

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 11.58.53 AMScene 1: The Eucharist

The disciples were in Judea doing breakfast dabs when Jesus approached and laughed.

“We said a prayer first, like you advised, so why laugh?”

“Did I say anything was wrong? Nothing is ever wrong. Everything happens for a reason.”

“Aren’t you Son of the One?” said Judas.

“Did I ever say that?” said Jesus. “None in my lifetime will ever truly know me.”

When the disciples heard these words, they cursed Jesus and grew angry, so he challenged them to a stare-down if any thought they could go eye-ball to eye-ball and tell Jesus to his face that they truly knew him and where he came from.

Judas said, “No problem,” but when Judas got in the face of Jesus, he looked away and said, “You come from Sophia, the first thought of the One, whose name is also “love.”

Jesus seemed impressed with this answer, and took Judas aside for a private conversation.

“Sometimes the truth can be painful,” he said. “And it needs to be unveiled gradually.”

Judas was so flattered by this private attention he whispered, “Does this mean I’m in the Anointed Ones?” But Jesus had disappeared, and did not re-appear for three days.

The next time Judas saw Jesus, he confronted him with many questions.

“How long will death prevail?”

“As long as women bear children.”

“Is it wrong to bear children then?”

“Eat every plant, avoid the bitter ones.”

“When will I get inducted into the Anointed Ones?”

“After you have trampled on the garment of shame, and the inner becomes the outer, and the male is not male, and the female is not female, then and only then you’ll be inducted into the Anointed Ones.”

A nursing mother walked by.

“That baby is truly enlightened at this moment.”

“Does that mean I should become more childlike to get into the Anointed Ones?” asked Judas.

But Jesus had already disappeared, and did not reappear for another three days.


Written by Steven Hager

February 25, 2015 at 11:24 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: