The Tin Whistle

counterculture history and conspiracy theory

The Sermon on the Mount

with 3 comments

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 11.58.53 AMWhen Jesus saw the crowds of people, he sat down and his followers came and gathered around him.

Everyone with two good ears, better listen! First, a shout-out to the to the homeless and hungry, the depressed, the distressed, the humble, the crumbled, the merciful and the pure in heart. But a special shout out to the peaceful. Blessed be those who are tortured and killed in the name of peace.

When you’re a peacemaker, they’ll insult and stab you in the back. They’ll lie and say nasty things about you just because you are peaceful. Be glad you are a peaceful because you will be rewarded in heaven. The powers-that-be always disrespect the true prophets. Same as it ever was.

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its taste, it cannot be made salty again. Salt is useless if it loses its taste and will be discarded.

The power of your mind shines brighter than the sun in the invisible realms. Your mind is a citadel built on a high hill. So don’t hide your oil lamps, put them on the lamp stand.

Don’t think I have come to destroy the Law of Moses or the teaching of the prophets. I have come not to destroy their teachings but to give full meaning to them. Nothing will disappear from the law.

You have heard that it was said to our people long ago, ‘Thou shalt not murder.’ Any person who commits murder will be judged.’ But I tell thee, don’t even get angry or rage out. Bury all hatchets.

If you get dragged into court, make friends with the priests who run the court. In fact, try to do that before you arrive in court. Otherwise, they might hand you over to the head priest who works for Rome and he will hand you over to some guard, who will throw you in jail, where they’ll beat and torture you as long as they desire.

You have heard it said, ‘Thou shalt not mess around with someone else’s wife or husband.’ But I tell thee if a man looks at a woman with desire, he’s already committed sin in his heart. It was also said, ‘Any man who divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce.’

You have heard that it was said to our people long ago, ‘When thou swearest, it makes the vow stronger. But I tell thee don’t swear. Say only ‘yes’ if you mean ‘yes,’ and only ‘no’ if you mean ‘no.’ If you say more than that, it is from the Evil One.

You have heard it said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell thee, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. If anyone sues you in court and tries to take your shirt, give them your coat. And if the police walk you a mile, go two. Refuse nothing.

You have heard it said, ‘Love thy neighbor, hate thine enemy.’ But I tell thee, love thine enemies. Pray for those who treat you badly. The sun rises for all people, good and bad. Rain falls on those who do right and do wrong. If you love only those who love you, why should you get a reward? Even tax collectors can do that.

When you do something good, don’t do it in front of others so that they will see you doing good. If you do that, you will not be rewarded.

When you give to the homeless, don’t announce it. Don’t be like the hypocrites in the temples or on the streets blowing trumpets and arranging big events. They want everyone to praise them. The truth is, that’s all the reward they’ll get. Give quietly when no one is looking.

When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites that flash their dogma on their sleeve. They want people to see and hear them. The truth is, that’s all the reward they’ll get. Close the door when you pray.

And when you pray, don’t be misguided like the people who don’t know anything about enlightenment. Pray from your heart. Go with the flow.

(Jesus prays)

Blessing be upon the Father and Mother. We pray for peace on earth, same as the peace in heaven. Give us enough bread to survive another day and forgive our sins, as we strive to forgive those who have sinned against us. Don’t tempt us, but keep evil thoughts at bay, and lead us away from temptation.

Don’t flash a lot of bling and don’t buy furs and silk, both can be destroyed by moths or rust. And thieves can break into your house and steal your treasures. Instead, invest in love, something that can’t be destroyed by moths or rust, something thieves can never steal. Make your heart your treasure trove. If you radiate love, you will be full of light. But if you look at people with an evil eye, you will be full of darkness.

You cannot serve two masters. You will hate one and love the other, or you will be loyal to one and not care about the other. You cannot serve God and worship material things at the same time.

So I tell you, don’t worry about the things that don’t matter. Life is more important than food, drink and clothing, and the body is more important than what you put in it or on it. Look at the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or harbor food. Life is easier when you go downstream.

Look at the hemp in the field. See how it grows. One day it’s alive and the next day it is harvested. You are faithless if you don’t understand this message.

Don’t worry and say, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ People who are without faith are always worrying.

Don’t be judgmental, allow brothers and sisters some slack.

Why draw attention to some spec in your brother’s eye, when there is a big splinter in your eye? Why say, ‘Let me take that spec out of your eye,’ when you have a bigger splinter in your eye? You are a hypocrite! First, clear your own eye. Then you will be better able to clear someone else’s eye.

(A dog approaches, Jesus pets it.)

Be kinds to your pets. Do not hurt them.

Question authority. Power always corrupts. Investigate and a door will open. Whoever asks will receive. Whoever investigates will find. And whoever continues to knock will have a door opened.

Do any of you have a son? If he asked for bread, would you give him a rock? Or if he asked for a fish, would you give him a snake? Of course not! Do unto others what you would have them to do unto you. This is the meaning of the Law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets.

The road to hell is long and wide, but the correct route is narrow and tricky.

Watch out for false prophets who want to sell the meaning of life. They will come looking like sheep, but are really wolves. You will know them because of the things they do. Good things don’t come from bad people, just as grapes don’t come from thorn bushes, and figs don’t come from thorny weeds. In the same way, good trees produce good fruit, while bad trees produce bad fruit. You will know bad people by their bad deeds.

Some of us will rat out others inside the movement to save themselves. Do not seek vengeance against informers. They are misguided and will get whatever they deserve. Whoever hears these teachings and obeys them is like a wise man who built his house on rock. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house. But it did not fall because it was built on rock. Whoever hears these teachings of mine and does not obey them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house. And it fell with an enormous crash.

Everyone with two good ears, better listen!

Written by Steven Hager

February 16, 2015 at 2:56 pm

3 Responses

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  1. This is ALL very Enlightening Stephen. It should be renamed the Gospel of HAGER. I do ALL kinds of research and Jesus is one of my favorite subjects.l only just recently found out the “seamless” Robe that Jesus wore is on display at a Church museum somewhere.Imagine the sweat and DNA still in that clothing?
    Hemp makes excellent clothing and is ALL Natural and made from God.
    I know about the various other “Relics” like the Shroud of Turin, Spear of Destiny, etc….But the Bible and various “Gospels” do NOT tell us much about the Man Jesus who performed man, many 1,000’s of Miracles. or his personal habits….I like the one where Jesus made a Whip of “cords’ and cleared out the whole Temple due to their disrespect by conducting business other than Praying or Worshiping.
    Did Jesus partake of the “sacred” Herb Cannabis? Not really sure, but there is a “theory” a special “pain killer” was given to the Savior just before he appeared to “die”…(Ether??) Not sure??? It was given to prevent the Pain of death or Crucifixion.(Nails will hurt after a while)
    I had my Tonsils taken out when I was about 5 and the Navy Corpsman used way too much Ether. After a couple of hours, you are awake again.
    Either way, Jesus(Yeshua) performed so man “Miracles” that there is no other comparison on this Planet. Some people try to claim Saint status with 3-4 miracles and others claim “Prophet” status, but with many more miracles.(Muhammad NEVER performed any Miracles)
    I hope and Pray that Jesus will make his appearance to us some day soon if it is the time of the Apocalypse.

    John Carman

    February 16, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    • P.S. Addendum to my previous on the substance Jesus was allegedly called “Gall”..
      People who were to be crcified were given “Gall” which may or may not contain a “Narcotic” to reduce
      the Pain or speed the Death of the victim.
      When Jesus arrived at Golgotha, the Bible says, “They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall…” (Matthew 27:34). According to Jewish law, if a man was about to be executed, he could request a narcotic, mingled together with wine, which would help alleviate the pain of his execution. The word “gall” in this verse refers to this special painkiller

      John Carman

      February 16, 2015 at 4:03 pm

  2. you may find this link a complement to what you said. notice the part about eliminating the gospel of mary magdalene towards the end. that was a very interesting version of the sermon on the mount.cid:09489879-1EF3-48D0-97F6-A47ADA3B95A0/


    February 16, 2015 at 4:50 pm

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