Exclusive Report to the Underground Press Network (UPN)
by Donald “Blue Skies” McCloud
I was sitting at my desk at the UPN headquarters when I got a very strange phone call. A mysterious voice asked if I would be interested in visiting the secret hideout of the Temple Dragon Crew (TDC) as they prepared their first ever test of the Emergency System for Peace (EsP). Apparently, out of all the journalists working in California, I was the only one selected for this incredible assignment.
Few realize the TDC have been working feverishly for the past seven years plotting a peaceful means for overthrowing the dark magicians running the Federal Reserve and the Pentagon—staging wars for profit and social control. To aid in this mission, they apparently dug an extensive network of tunnels throughout Mount Tamalpais, the central peak of Marin country, California. They did this because they consider the mountain sacred. The complex apparently rivals anything the CIA did for Osama bin Laden in Tora Bora, only there’s equipment being tested today that is beyond the technologies currently held by the CIA (or anyone else).
After accepting this invitation, I was blindfolded and put in the back of a van and driven around Mt. Tam for what seemed like hours. When the blindfold was taken off, I found myself inside a long, dark tunnel. A group of TDC members (all wearing their trademark TDC gear (hats, coats, shirts) escorted me to their “Peace Room,” a large cavern with a giant screen of the globe projected on one wall.
“After our Alchemist, developed the MCC, the best device for amplifying telepathic energies, we knew it was just a matter of time before we started manifesting peace energies in massive quantities,” says my guide while pushing an array of impressive buttons. “See, here’s the dark telepathic vibrations currently dominating the earth’s energy field.” While pushing another button, an array of pink dots appeared all around the globe, although a blistering white spot dominated on North America’s east coast. “That’s the Pentagon,” he explains. “That’s really the center of the world’s evil vibrations right now because that system has been hijacked by the dark magicians we are fighting against. But now check this out…” After pressing another buttom, a different set of dots appeared, only these were purple, not pink. “These are the peace vibrations emanating from the earth right now,” he explained. ” Those two dots on the East Coast, that’s our founder, he’s got a bunch of sets going right now, as well as Brian, one of best meditation experts. Notice this little dot here? That’s Dennis and he’s manifesting with just a set of tea lights. Dennis is doing a remarkable job. Also, see that light in Texas? That’s Jet. He’s got the strongest heart chakra on the crew. We expect big things from Jet soon.”
Apparently, the test went well, although apparently the peace energies are nowhere near what is needed to overthrow the dark overlords of the earth, but who knows, in time, the TDC’s dream of world peace may actually be manifested. Anyway, it’s better than sitting home watching TV and doing nothing while the world explodes in violence all around us.
After this amazing display, they offered me a cup of tea, which put me to sleep immediately. When I woke up, I was at home in bed wondering if I dreamed this whole thing up. I mean, did the Temple Dragon Crew really excavate a giant command center inside Mt. Tam? And how did they manage to do that on their non-existent shoestring budget? More research needs to be conducted on who these people actually are. I am left with more questions than answers.